Mrs Tara Plumbing

Filmed in Margate in 2006, will be shown on Channel 4, Monday 19th Nov. 9pm.

 www.themargateexodus.org.uk/home.php

 This art film was Produced by Artangel, details here:

www.artangel.org.uk/pages/past/06/06_woolcock.htm

Mr Tara Plumbing and I have been on the Artangel mailing list since 2004 when we went to see

GREGOR SCHNEIDER
Die Familie Schneider in London

Two east London Terraced houses had been made to look identical, and room were divided in to smaller rooms.  This is what Schneider is known for.  Visitors had to explore each house individually, by appointment only.  The atmosphere inside the houses was oppressive, creepy, scary, sinister - you just need to experience it.    In each house there were people - also looking identical - women washing up at the sinks; men masterbating in the showers; and some weird stuff going on in the bedroom. It was an experience I shall never forget.

www.artangel.org.uk/pages/publishing/pub_schneider.htm

If you happen to be in Australia within the next week or so, there is a Schneider creation on Bondi Beach.

I committed the name of this funny lady to memory when I saw her in 1999, she was an unknown, doing 5 minute standup slots for no pay (she was also incredibly sexy and flirtatious - perhaps that’s why I remember her - see pic at bottom).  I’ve seen hundreds of ‘new’ acts and remember the names of very few.  I do remember Jimmy Carr from those days, too. He also stood out from the rest, from the start.

It was quite by chance that I found this TV programme whilst searching the BBC website for something else.   http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/karentaylor/ 8 years later, here she is appearing on plasma screens across the UK. 

 I have only seen one episode, it did not disappoint. Her comedy is funny, clever, original and up to date (I was thinking ‘contemporary’ but that word triggers sensitive reactions in East Kent).  I would highly recommend anyone with a sense of humour to see the repeat on Saturday - BBC3 or episode 5of 6 Monday BBC3 (10/10.30pm).

If you need or want to know more about Karen Taylor: http://www.bbc.co.uk/pressoffice/pressreleases/stories/2006/02_february/22/taylor.shtml

Or this: 

http://www.paramountcomedy.com/comedy/comedians/comedian.aspx?id=387

To be honest, not all reviews are good, I came across this:

“Several sketches fall back on cheap sex/toilet humour.”
But that’s what makes Mrs Tara Plumbing laugh!

Two telephone calls last week just about halved our substantial business mobile phone bill. We could pay for a family holiday with the money we will save over the course of a year.

It started with a call to BT - they offered us an incredible deal IF they could provide us with mobiles (vodaphone). An offer to good to miss. So we called our current provider, at first glance they could NOT offer a package to compete - BUT, then they noticed we among their best clients. So they created a unique package just for us which was better than the BT offer!

In recent times we have also reduced our land line bills.  Unfortunately, BT is the only provider in our area, but we have found that if you enquire they are always changing and improving their tarifs.  As a paying customer they ought to automatically inform you of a better tarif, but, of course, they don’t.  

That’s phones - now Television.

Last week we also received a letter from SKY. It was along these line but not in these words:

they love us very much because we always pay the bill and they don’t want us to run off with a provider of a similar & cheaper service (such as BT vision). As a sign of their love - from July 1st they will give us SKY + for free.

Read the small print - … for FREE, so long as we continue to pay for at least the minimum package of £15pcm. If we break off the relationship, then good-bye freebie, live pause, rewind and record on Sky+ will cost us £10.

The full BT vision package is £9pcm after £90 worth of set up costs and you have to have freeview, http://www.btvision.bt.com/vision/index.htm

 BUT is it is only available with BT residential broadband. A big BUT: changing our internet provider (& email addresses) is too terrible to contemplate with out a much bigger incentive.

Special offers - there are so many around, which is why I regularly look at the Martin Lewis site http://www.moneysavingexpert.com

My son and I can be spotted around the West Cliff, Ramsgate, most mornings. About 7am, before school, you may have seen us? He will be riding his new bike (with stabilisers) and first thing in the morning is the best time of day to get out for a ride. I find he is highly motivated to get ready for school in the mornings if he has this treat to look forward to. He always pauses when we go past his grandparents house, don’t worry grandad, I’ve told him 7.15 is not a good time to drop-in on neighbours.

I’m highly motivated to get him to bed tonight, as I’m on a bed time promise.

“Is that before, or after, we watch Chaos at the Chateau?” I ask Mr Tara Plumbing, “It’s the last episode tonight.”

If you haven’t heard of it, let me tell you what a treat you have missed. I watched the first few episodes thinking it was a genuine reality TV show about couple opening a hotel in Slovakia. Not the sort of thing I normally watch, but it had high profile coverage in the Times. Slowly it dawns on me that the events and characters are so hilarious the camera cannot have captured this all by chance. It is a great Comedy of Errors. It is very similar in style to the spoof documentary, The Office, but with completely different personalities. Chaos at the Chateau is just as funny and makes you cringe just as much. So who is the comedy genius who wrote the script? Not Ricky Gervais, it seems. There is a mystery, which is debated on the Channel 4 website - you see, some people claim it is genuine and that they’ve even stayed at the Chateaux. Others claim to know the script writer.

If you have seen it, have you noticed that the French hotel manager, Thierry, talks just like the Portuguese manager of Chelsea FC, Jose Mourinho? It’s something to do with the face that looks like a school boy in trouble; an annoying whinging, whining voice; and lips that don’t move.

No late night for me, though. I get up at 6 to whizz up fresh fruit smoothies. If I’m lucky it will be raining, then I can have a lie-in until 7am - no bike riding.

If I have a big smile on my face tomorrow morning you will know it’s due to the Channel 4 TV output. If I look tired, put that down to early morning bike rides.

What about Mr Tara Plumbing? Will he be exhausted from an evening of Conjugal-ing and laughing? Well, he has looked like the Cat who got the Cream most of this week, anyway. Too many compliments from satisfied customers, boosting up his already over inflated ego.

Mr Ash* (not his real name!) handed over the final payments and metaphorically licked Mr T.P. all over with flattery:

“It has been such a pleasure to know you…The men who work for you are so polite….The every job you have ever done for us has been so well organised and always finished on time…”

At the Ash* family property, over some years, we have done just about all you can do inside a bungalow. Mr Tara Plumbing could see an opportunity: “Don’t hesitate to get in touch when you are ready for a loft conversion.”